I've Been Spying on You All Year
What Midlife Moderators Really Think About Drinking Differently (8 min read)
I could dress it up as journalistic inquisitiveness, but the truth of the matter is that I’m just nosey.
I like to know what’s going on. I’m the person in the pub who drifts off from my own conversation to listen in on what the couple two tables down are rowing about (admit it, you know you do it too 😆).
I’ve never passed a well-lit window at dusk without slowing down for a peek inside to see how the other half live.
But apart from for my own entertainment, I do also use my powers for good.
For a few months now, I’ve been sending out weekly (OK, almost weekly) polls to gauge your opinions on living a life less intoxicated.
What you’re loving, what you’re hating, where you’re struggling.
And because I know you’re probably just as nosey as I am but too embarrassed to admit it (never be embarrassed with me, my dear, I have stories that’d make a sailor blush), today I’m going to share a little of that insight with you.
Our year in the polls
This is my first year on Substack, and I asked you over a dozen questions about life as midlife moderators. Some answers were exactly as I expected, and some definitely surprised me.
Like when 40% of you said you had no idea what functional drinks even are, yet somehow they still topped the charts as the most impressive category of 2025. You’re a complicated bunch, but that’s OK, I still love ya.
Peas in a Pod
First off, it’s amazing to know I’ve found my people. Like me, you’re not here because something went catastrophically wrong; you’re here because you want to be.
When I asked what drives your decision to skip the booze on any given occasion, 47% of you said physical health - better sleep, more energy, just generally feeling like a better version of yourself.
Another 27% pointed to mental health benefits like clarity and mood. Only 7% voted for social reasons like needing to drive or family commitments.
This matters because it tells me you’re not in crisis mode. You’re optimising. You’re making changes because you want to feel better, not because you’ve hit some sort of rock bottom.
And when I asked about your lightbulb moment - that thing that made you think “right, time to drink differently” - the winner by a mile was “constantly feeling sub-par” at 41%. Not a serious health scare or intervention-level drama. Just the slow dawning realisation that you’re tired of feeling a bit rubbish all the time - exactly the path that brought me here today.
The Habit Problem
When I asked what’s hardest about moderating in midlife, 47% of you said breaking decades of habits. Not social pressure or finding decent drinks, not even dealing with a partner who still drinks, just the sheer weight of doing the same thing you’ve done for twenty, thirty, maybe forty years.
That’s a lot of muscle memory to override, and a lot of “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” rationalisations that happen before your brain even catches up with your hand reaching for the bottle.
Low No Nation are out here wrestling with neural pathways that were laid down back when we were 18, treating Jäger Bombs like a food group. No wonder it takes more than willpower to rewire that.
What’s In A Name?
When I asked how you describe your drinking situation to others, 53% of you went with the spectacularly unremarkable “I just drink less now.”
Not sober curious, moderating, or taking a break, just... drinking less. Like it’s no big thing. Love it!
And speaking of labels that people have strong opinions about for no good reason, after the EU ruling that the word ‘gin’ can no longer be used on non-alc drinks, I asked if you care how alcohol-free drinks are categorised on the label.
It’s a debate that has the drinks industry up in apoplectic arms. Yet a third of you said you’ll continue to call it gin anyway, another third said, using similar words as full-strength drinks help you find what you’re looking for, and (like me with the “don’t call them mocktails” debate) 20% of you are just exhausted by the whole conversation.
Social Anxiety? Kinda…
When it comes to your social life, I asked which social situations make you most anxious about not drinking. The responses were pretty evenly split - work events, nights out with friends, and family gatherings all came in around 22% each.
But then, when I asked how people actually react when you tell them you’re not drinking, 38% said supportive, and another 38% said completely indifferent.
Only 19% reported the dismissive “ugh, boring” response, and 4% got the nosy “are you ill/pregnant?” treatment.
And this might be my favourite result, just 1% of you said you experience peer pressure like “just have one!”
You know how to pick good friends!
What this means in real terms: The anxiety exists, but the actual negative reactions are relatively rare.
It’s not that other people are giving you grief, it’s that you’re exhausted from having to - or thinking that you have to - explain yourself repeatedly. We saw this in our Christmas poll, where you said one of your biggest festive season worries was having to have the same conversation at every party about why you’re not having booze.
And I get it. There’s nothing more tedious than having to repeat yourself again and again and again and… (you get it.)
What You Really Really Want in a Drink
Now to the drinks themselves, because we wouldn’t be here without them, and you had a lot to say.
Your biggest frustration? At 38%, it’s the price. Fair enough - nobody wants to pay £20 for something that tastes like last week’s drip tray, but I also know that a large part of that is just not yet knowing where the value in a low/no drink really lies.
Quality came in second at 29%, and availability third at 24%.
When I asked what you actually want from your alcohol-free drinks, 56% of you went with “don’t care, just make it taste great.” And a hefty 40% said to make it taste as close as possible to the “real thing”.
That’s our midlife status on show again as we look for drinks that replicate what we’ve spent years getting to know and love, as opposed to the Gen Z drinkers we often hear so much about, who have never drunk the way we did.
Interestingly, only 4% said ‘Not to remind me of booze at all’, reiterating the point that the majority of us aren’t here because of recovery or absolute sobriety, but a choice to have different options for different times.
When I asked which category impressed you most in 2025, functional drinks came out on top at 35% - fascinating, as previously 70% said you either didn’t know what they were or were unconvinced by them.
Beer took second place at 29% (surprising, as I would have assumed this to come in first, but hey, that’s why we do the polls right!). Sparkling wines & alternatives got 18%, spirits & RTDs (ready to drink) 12%, and still wines limped in at 6%.
Then I asked which category needs the most work, and you absolutely savaged still wine - 93% of you reckon it’s still rubbish. I mean, I know there’s a lot of work to be done, guys, but still… savage!
Where You’re Shopping
I rounded off the year asking where you’d be buying your low/no drinks for Christmas, and 62% of you said supermarkets.
This one is mildly frustrating, not because I’m anti-supermarket (that would be weird), but because I know you’re missing out on so many amazing low, no and light drinking experiences by not shopping at dedicated specialist online retailers like Wise Bartender* and Dry Drinker (don’t worry, it’s my mission to help you get there).
But I do understand. You want this to be easy and accessible, not something you always have to schedule ahead of time to get delivered right when you might want something with a low ABV, so if the supermarkets are working for you, then (as the kids say) you do you.
31% of you do use dedicated online specialists, and only 8% buy straight from brands.
So…
So here’s what I reckon after several months of minding your own business:
You are my people, and I’m glad we’ve found each other. The efforts you’re making to live a life less intoxicated should be celebrated because you are doing something freaking awesome for yourself.
But we don’t make too big a deal of it. This is just how we live now, and damn it, we’re proud of who we’re becoming – as we should be!
From my perspective, these polls are gold. They help me to understand how best to help you. They help the brand builders and industry pros who visit the Low No Drinker platform understand where they need to up their game.
And most importantly, they help us all to see that no matter our reasons for drinking differently, we are not alone.
I’ll be back with more polls soon, as well as all the helpful content that they inspire, so that together we can all say cheers to a 2026 less intoxicated!